Tag Archives: fun

My Bucket List of Men To Do

I’ve known many different types of people in my life.  But having been in a committed (ha!) relationship for most of my life, I was constrained from “knowing” in the biblical or romantic sense many different types of men.  Still, in my now single state I  think about men a lot and wonder what I missed, and whether I could still sow a few oats.

So, without further ado and in no particular order, here is my —

Bucket List of Men To Do:

1.  Rich Guy — You know on those movies and sitcoms and women meet those guys who buy them a designer dress and  fly them to Italy for dinner and crap.  Yeah, that would be nice.

Richard Gere wooing Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Only in my scenario I am not a prostitute.

2.  Too Young for Me Guy

Let me first say this.  I am not a pedophile.  The boy-man must be legal and look like a man.  That said, a boyish cutie pie would be nice.  I just want a hint of immortality.   I young man will never forget his first  quality real grown-ass woman.   Plus they have good  music and not a lot to do.

Harry Potter can bring his wand.

3.  Celebrity

a.  Actor— Preferably a screen actor so when a movie is rebroadcast on  television or a TV show is put in syndication I can casually walk by the TV and say, smugly, “Yeah, I hit that.”

Morris Chestnut

b.  Musician–  I am a musician.  I would like to be able to hang out in a larger-than-life  musician’s home studio and jam.  I want to ride in the limo to concerts, and listen from backstage.  I want him to play/sing, only for me a song that has made millions of other women swoon.  And I want to play for him.  And, Prince, if you are reading this, DM me.

Beyoncé and Prince

4.  Really smart guy — A scary smart guy.  All he’ll have to do is talk to me or debate with others  and I’ll be putty.

Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe

5.  Country Guy— Okay, I cannot explain this.  I’m black and not a southern woman. I don’t keep livestock or even go horseback riding. I don’t own a gun or a truck.  I have a toy dog.   But a good old boy would be fun for a minute.   He must not call me ma’am, though.

Zac Brown. I think he likes his Chicken Fried.

6. A delivery guy. (I don’t know.  I just don’t know.)

7.  A man who does not speak English.   I’m American.  I only know a wee bit of French — wait, excuse me, un peu bit of French.  I want to be required to communicate in other ways.  I bet I could become bi- and tri-lingual given the right teacher.  I’m a fast learner.  Maybe it’s this WordPress Views by Country that has me on this.

Rachel on Friends with Italian Paulo, who knows little English.

8.  Too Old For Me Rich Guy  – At this point in life this is my only route if I want to be photographed as the pretty young thing on someone’s arm.   I mean Dick Van Dyke (86) just married a 40-year-old.  That’s all I have to say about that –except that I love Dick Van Dyke, so I ain’t mad at her, or him.

9.  The Dangerous Guy — “Sir, he drove off the building.”   I don’t have a death or prison wish, I just like the Bourne movies.  I could live off  the grid for a while, with my five kids, and my minivan . . .

Anyway, I reserve the right to edit the above list.   I also reserve the right to tick some of them off as —  done!!

Oh,I forgot the most important one of all —

10.  Really Nice Guy  (Perhaps one day I’ll be able to insert his picture here.)

Just Me With . . . things to do.

What Have I Done Since My Divorce?

So this is the anniversary of when my divorce became final.  Well, well, well.    The divorce process, from filing to finality was almost three years to the day.    It was  litigious and expensive.   I still have outstanding legal bills and there is retirement money yet  to be transferred.   Regardless of the loose ends,  the divorce itself has been final for a year.  Happy freaking anniversary to me.  See, Don’t Congratulate Me On My Divorce . . . Not Today.

It was my husband who was the litigious one, though I’m the lawyer.  But suddenly, after his multiple filings, hearings, and mediation and him threatening to prolong the process, as in, “I don’t care how long it takes.   This can go on forever.  I’d rather pay my lawyer than you,” when he got this last girlfriend, he couldn’t get divorced fast enough.  Huh.  Even after the settlement was agreed upon and we were waiting for signatures, he filed yet another costly petition because it was taking too damn long.

Huh.

Let me be clear:  we aren’t wealthy people, so unlike Kobe  Bryant and his wife, we weren’t dividing mansions and millions.   Not even close.  No, my Ex-husband had another “M” word in mind.

In the year since  our  bonds of matrimony were broken,  My Ex-husband has  remarried.

Now they are expecting.   Huh.  Guess he  had plans.  Plans which necessitated a divorce.    Because the ability to remarry —  that is the true power and magic of divorce.   That, and being able to sign up for eHarmony.com . . . but I digress.

Poof!

Well, that particular magic hasn’t happened to me.  (And that’s okay, really.)

I haven’t walked down that aisle again and I’ll never have any more children.  What’s more, I don’t wanna!!    I’m not looking for a husband and I don’t feel incomplete without one.   Marriage is not my goal or plan and I do not equate it with a sign of success.
That said,  let me take this moment in time to celebrate

What I Have Done Since My Divorce  . . .

1.   I got Netflix;

2.   Having never watched it  before — ever,  I started from episode one and got caught up on Grey’s Anatomy right up  to the current  episode;

3.  I bought  an iPhone;

4.  I got on Twitter, and

5.  I started this blog.

That’s right.  Apparently  I had plans, too,  damn it.    So maybe I haven’t traveled the world since I became legally single.   Maybe I haven’t  found someone to whom to publicly declare my love  “until death do us part” (yeah,  no comment)  and  started a brand new family  . . .

but Dude,

I’m texting and tweeting like a champ, #hashtags and all.

Just Me With . . .  Meredith and  McDreamy, my Tweeps, my Apps, and my Readers.

She’s Gonna Make It After All

Thank you!    See also: The Twilight Zone — Again, Seriously?