Tag Archives: anniversary

My Wedding Album — Time to Reduce It, Perhaps by Fire

A while back I wrote a post entitled, “Wedding Leftovers” where I discussed what to do with the remnants of a failed marriage.  I concluded that I’d keep the wedding pictures.

But . . .

Today I am consumed with the idea of destroying somejust some — of my wedding photos.   Is it a coincidence that this feeling comes on the eve of what would have been my wedding anniversary —  the first one since my Ex-husband has remarried?  I think not, but  there’s a slight possibility I’m fooling myself.  It just suddenly feels a bit icky to keep all this stuff in its original form.

I have children as a result of that  now defunct union.  I think that in later years they will enjoy seeing the pictures from their parents’ wedding.  Consequently,  I do not feel comfortable destroying — all of them.   Anyway, I looked good that day.    My  best friend looked good that day, too.  And, from a distance, my Ex-husband looked good, too.  So yes, I’ll keep some.

But  I do feel comfortable taking the pictures out of the leather-bound book and velvet cover.   I don’t need to preserve the formal display anymore.

I also feel comfortable destroying the picture of my father with my then husband’s sister, a picture that was  included in the album only because this sister was nowhere to be found when the rest of the family was posing for pictures so we kept this one shot so she would be in at least one photograph.  Anyway, there are other, better pictures of my father.    Plus, this is the sister who was not very respectful to me, my home, or my parents during “the invasion”  or the “War of the Roses” situation as I call it — Humph —  so her photo can go.

I am also content with reducing the number of pictures of the groomsmen, since the best man is the most un-photogenic person I’ve ever seen.  He was good-looking guy, but didn’t know how to smile naturally.   Embarrassingly bad pictures.   Anyway, I have not seen him or his wife or family since my Ex left me years ago.  I don’t need multiple pictures of him  in my house. See, “I am Here!

And, I do feel comfortable destroying the poorly touched up close-ups of my then husband, whose face broke out right before the wedding.  (Even his skin was trying to tell me something.)  He hated the pictures because he looked so bad and he wouldn’t “let” me show the album to anyone anyway.  Humph.

I’m even cool with limiting the bridal party pictures of the women.  My second best friend was suffering from a stomach disorder that was so bad that she had  to be  released from the hospital just to attend the wedding.  She’d been throwing up — a lot.   She didn’t look so good.   I would guess that she’d probably be quite happy if I made some of the pictures that include her . . .  disappear, especially since she’s a television personality now.

Also, I am completely cool with losing photographs of some of  my Ex-Husband’s friends and those wedding guests that now I’m not even sure why we invited– except for, of course,  that photo containing the likeness of one guest who is now somewhat famous (Nope, I’m not telling — heh, heh).  I’ll keep that one.

Yeah, I’m ready to reduce and downsize my wedding mementos and preserve them in a manner of my choosing and befitting their relative importance.   It’ll be like the olden days when there was only a portrait of the bride, maybe some pictures of the wedding party and the happy couple — but just not so many damn pictures.  I really don’t need all of them.  If my whole downsizing thing has taught me anything, it has taught me that  I don’t need to preserve everything.   Hell, my Ex-husband and his new wife don’t have this stuff taking up space in their home.  I don’t even want it taking up treasured space on my hard drive.

So yes, I am completely cool with reducing the number of photos, and placing them in a less shrine-like album.  And bonus, my taking control of  the manner of display may make it more bearable when the kids do want to look at them.

Sadly, it has started to rain.  So there will be no fires today.  Sigh.   But another day . . . burn, baby, burn . . .

Waiting To Exhale — Burn!!

Just Me With . . .  a need to reduce and control the physical manifestation of my wedding memories.   Yeah, I’m good with that now.  (And I promise not to take a Sharpie to his teeth.)

See also:  Always a Bridesmaid

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What Have I Done Since My Divorce?

So this is the anniversary of when my divorce became final.  Well, well, well.    The divorce process, from filing to finality was almost three years to the day.    It was  litigious and expensive.   I still have outstanding legal bills and there is retirement money yet  to be transferred.   Regardless of the loose ends,  the divorce itself has been final for a year.  Happy freaking anniversary to me.  See, Don’t Congratulate Me On My Divorce . . . Not Today.

It was my husband who was the litigious one, though I’m the lawyer.  But suddenly, after his multiple filings, hearings, and mediation and him threatening to prolong the process, as in, “I don’t care how long it takes.   This can go on forever.  I’d rather pay my lawyer than you,” when he got this last girlfriend, he couldn’t get divorced fast enough.  Huh.  Even after the settlement was agreed upon and we were waiting for signatures, he filed yet another costly petition because it was taking too damn long.

Huh.

Let me be clear:  we aren’t wealthy people, so unlike Kobe  Bryant and his wife, we weren’t dividing mansions and millions.   Not even close.  No, my Ex-husband had another “M” word in mind.

In the year since  our  bonds of matrimony were broken,  My Ex-husband has  remarried.

Now they are expecting.   Huh.  Guess he  had plans.  Plans which necessitated a divorce.    Because the ability to remarry —  that is the true power and magic of divorce.   That, and being able to sign up for eHarmony.com . . . but I digress.

Poof!

Well, that particular magic hasn’t happened to me.  (And that’s okay, really.)

I haven’t walked down that aisle again and I’ll never have any more children.  What’s more, I don’t wanna!!    I’m not looking for a husband and I don’t feel incomplete without one.   Marriage is not my goal or plan and I do not equate it with a sign of success.
That said,  let me take this moment in time to celebrate

What I Have Done Since My Divorce  . . .

1.   I got Netflix;

2.   Having never watched it  before — ever,  I started from episode one and got caught up on Grey’s Anatomy right up  to the current  episode;

3.  I bought  an iPhone;

4.  I got on Twitter, and

5.  I started this blog.

That’s right.  Apparently  I had plans, too,  damn it.    So maybe I haven’t traveled the world since I became legally single.   Maybe I haven’t  found someone to whom to publicly declare my love  “until death do us part” (yeah,  no comment)  and  started a brand new family  . . .

but Dude,

I’m texting and tweeting like a champ, #hashtags and all.

Just Me With . . .  Meredith and  McDreamy, my Tweeps, my Apps, and my Readers.

She’s Gonna Make It After All

Thank you!    See also: The Twilight Zone — Again, Seriously?