I’ve known many different types of people in my life. But having been in a committed (ha!) relationship for most of my life, I was constrained from “knowing” in the biblical or romantic sense many different types of men. Still, in my now single state I think about men a lot and wonder what I missed, and whether I could still sow a few oats.
So, without further ado and in no particular order, here is my —
Bucket List of Men To Do:
1. Rich Guy — You know on those movies and sitcoms and women meet those guys who buy them a designer dress and fly them to Italy for dinner and crap. Yeah, that would be nice.
Richard Gere wooing Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Only in my scenario I am not a prostitute.
2. Too Young for Me Guy —
Let me first say this. I am not a pedophile. The boy-man must be legal and look like a man. That said, a boyish cutie pie would be nice. I just want a hint of immortality. I young man will never forget his first quality real grown-ass woman. Plus they have good music and not a lot to do.
Harry Potter can bring his wand.
3. Celebrity —
a. Actor— Preferably a screen actor so when a movie is rebroadcast on television or a TV show is put in syndication I can casually walk by the TV and say, smugly, “Yeah, I hit that.”
Morris Chestnut
b. Musician– I am a musician. I would like to be able to hang out in a larger-than-life musician’s home studio and jam. I want to ride in the limo to concerts, and listen from backstage. I want him to play/sing, only for me a song that has made millions of other women swoon. And I want to play for him. And, Prince, if you are reading this, DM me.
Beyoncé and Prince
4. Really smart guy — A scary smart guy. All he’ll have to do is talk to me or debate with others and I’ll be putty.
Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe
5. Country Guy— Okay, I cannot explain this. I’m black and not a southern woman. I don’t keep livestock or even go horseback riding. I don’t own a gun or a truck. I have a toy dog. But a good old boy would be fun for a minute. He must not call me ma’am, though.
Zac Brown. I think he likes his Chicken Fried.
6. A delivery guy. (I don’t know. I just don’t know.)
7. A man who does not speak English. I’m American. I only know a wee bit of French — wait, excuse me, un peu bit of French. I want to be required to communicate in other ways. I bet I could become bi- and tri-lingual given the right teacher. I’m a fast learner. Maybe it’s this WordPress Views by Country that has me on this.
Rachel on Friends with Italian Paulo, who knows little English.
8. Too Old For Me Rich Guy – At this point in life this is my only route if I want to be photographed as the pretty young thing on someone’s arm. I mean Dick Van Dyke (86) just married a 40-year-old. That’s all I have to say about that –except that I love Dick Van Dyke, so I ain’t mad at her, or him.
9. The Dangerous Guy — “Sir, he drove off the building.” I don’t have a death or prison wish, I just like the Bourne movies. I could live off the grid for a while, with my five kids, and my minivan . . .
Anyway, I reserve the right to edit the above list. I also reserve the right to tick some of them off as — done!!
Oh,I forgot the most important one of all —
10. Really Nice Guy (Perhaps one day I’ll be able to insert his picture here.)
Just Me With . . . things to do.
Just Me With . . . 
Nice list 🙂
The closest I’ve ever come to dating a “Rich Guy” was a man a year younger than me who took me to a sushi restaurant and paid the bill… He never bought me anything though…
I hope you’ll find that “Really Nice Guy” 🙂
Really nice guy was not on your list. I would go with SMART guy or Rich Guy.
You know, I have had guys who were some ot the things on the list, things like rich, smart, and they were nice. But, it seems like he can ring my bell me until I am hooked, then you would think I was his first time. It is puzzling. Now, I am not going to get rid of a man because he can no longer make me dizzy, but it is frustrating. I don’t mean I want something new and exciting. But, when a guy spends a long time turning me on for six months, and slowly forgets what I like until finally, his foreplay is just “let’s get in bed” and then “come here,” I am not happy or in the mood. I just want someone who has a little bit of foreplay left at the end of a year. Seriously, the guy will just want wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. I am consistently affectionate and passionate, so it is not that I have stopped trying.
You are hilarious!
Now this is hilarious: “I just want someone who has a little bit of foreplay left at the end of a year.” You said it, sister!!! Ha!
Oh, Harry Potter always has his wand with him!
This is awesome! I, too, await a visual for number 10.
Yes, we need a picture. I have never gone strictly for looks, but my ex was handsome, so handsome that women told me all about it. In the past (since divorce)I have rejected men for looks, however. Mostly, I was right because some were not suitable besides being goofy looking. It’s too bad that nice is not quantifiable and evident.
Although #4 is a stereotype, his IQ is still quantifiable. The rest of the stereotypes are quantifiable or evident.
What in the… Did my last comment erase? Son of a…
anyway, I love this post, but you scared me with that picture of the Village People. I agree with you on most of your choices and this part cracked me the hell up: Preferably a screen actor so when a movie is rebroadcast on television or a TV show is put in syndication I can casually walk by the TV and say, smugly, “Yeah, I hit that.”
HA!
Also, I can kinda see what you mean about the Southern boy… but I’d prefer a Matthew McCaughnehey (whatever, you know who I’m talking about even if I can’t spell his last name).
I found your other comment in spam. Don’t know why it does that. Anyway, thanks, and wouldn’t it be fun to be able to say, “Yeah, I hit that.” and hell yeah, I could go with a Matthew type, too (I don’t feel like looking up his spelling, so I’ll just call him by his first name). All Sweet Home Alabama like. hmmm
I SO want that really nice guy for you. You deserve him. And he deserves you. And hey…. on your road to him? May you tick a few of the others off your list too! 😉
[…] while back I wrote a Bucket List of Men to Do. On it, I included an Too Old For Me Rich Guy saying, “At this point in life this is my […]