Do Not Congratulate Me On My Divorce — Not Today, Anyway

Please don’t congratulate me on my divorce becoming final . . . not today.   I got that sheet of paper from my attorney back in February.   I’m released from the bonds of matrimony.  So . . . what?!!!   I’m self-employed.  To me, then, my divorce becoming final means that I now have to pick up the tab for my health insurance.   It’s a pretty substantial monthly payment.   So I’m not woo-hoo–ing on my new-found legal freedom.   Perhaps in the long run, in the future, or in a galaxy far, far away, it will be good for me to break these financial ties . . . but now?  . . . Now it means I’ve got to do the “find” dance.  Find the money, find a way to earn more money, find a way to bring in more money by any means, find a way to spend less money — dance.   Tired of that dance.   And the damn kids continue to eat — every freakin’ day!!!   Can I revert back to breastfeeding to free up some money so that I can keep going to the doctor?  Guess not.  Gotta find another way.

Part of me really wanted to have a woo-hoo, throw my hat up in the air like Mary Tyler Moore, Sex and the City Girlfriends night out kind of moment when the nasty divorce was finally final.  But it turns out? (as Carrie would say) I don’t feel much like celebrating.   Maybe if I were Amy Irving (Ex Mrs. Spielberg), or Linda Hamilton (Ex Mrs. James “Titanic” Cameron)  or one of the Trump wives or Mrs. Tiger Woods . . . maybe then I’d be happy and could celebrate on my way to Rodeo Drive.   But my divorce settlement only brings me freedom to pay another monthly bill, retroactively, to the date the Ex ran to his HR department to inform them of the final divorce decree that allowed him to cut off my benefits.

I delayed it, but today I log-on to transfer my car fund money (money I was saving  to replace the 13-year-old car I currently drive)  to my checking account so that I can make a  huge payment just to bring my health insurance up to date.   (I’m not even dealing with how I’m going to pay the monthly bill going forward.)   Consequently, . . .  I just don’t  feel like  woo-hoo-ing, and please don’t congratulate me on my divorce . . . not today, anyway.

Just Me With . . . my freedom and my checkbook.

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4 responses

  1. No congratulations. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. For those paying child support, they have not a clue how difficult we work to pay every bill….I’m sorry.

  2. The Reality of White Picket Fences | Reply

    Your life and mine are so very similar.

    I just bought a new car…. new to me… 30 years old to the rest of the world. But hey, it fits everyone… and they get their own seatbelt!

    Isn’t the ex still responsible for the kids health insurance? (My ex does not keep helath ins for the kids… it is all up to me) Or were you refering to just yours….

    1. Yes, I was just referring to me. He still has to keep paying the kids’ insurance premiums. Thank goodness. Blessings to you for shouldering all your kids’ insurance. Wow.

  3. […] So this is the anniversary of when my divorce became final.  Well, well, well.    The divorce process, from filing to finality was almost three years to the day.    It was  litigious and expensive.   I still have outstanding legal bills and there is retirement money yet  to be transferred.   Regardless of the loose ends,  the divorce itself has been final for a year.  Happy freaking anniversary to me.  See, Don’t Congratulate Me On My Divorce . . . Not Today. […]

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