Tag Archives: dinner party

I Went To A Dinner Party Alone

Carrie, without a date at a wedding in Sex and The City

Carrie, without a date at a wedding in Sex and The City

If you’ve read my previous post, “You Don’t Have To Bring a Date, Come Alone.  Come Alone.  COME ALONE!”   you know that I was alternatively stressed, concerned, pissed and kinda bummed by the repeated suggestion that I come alone to a dinner party.   Here is the update.

Yes, I went alone.   Yes,  and as I predicted, it was fine.

Let me set the scene.   It was at a private  home, more like an estate.  The night was beautiful so everything was set  outside –cocktails and  hors d’oeuvres for an hour, then a buffet dinner at tables around the pool.  It was a catered affair with gorgeous centerpieces and decorations all in pink and white, to celebrate Cheryl’s being cancer free.  Guests were also encouraged to wear pink,  and on behalf of those who did, Cheryl would donate money to Cancer research.  Everyone had on some sort of pink.    It was a really classy affair, with around fifty guests.

Okay enough with the back drop, this is how it played out.

  • I walked in alone.
  • I was greeted by Cheryl who immediately introduced me to, let’s call her, Regina, who was the ONLY OTHER SINGLE PERSON THERE!
  • Cheryl informed  the group I was standing with that Regina and I were seated at the same table –because we were THE ONLY SINGLES THERE!

Awkward? Yes.  Appreciated?  Yes.   It made sense, actually.

  • After Cheryl made the announcement that Regina and I would be dining partners, Regina joked, “But we’re not a couple!”

Of course I took that opening to add, “Well, the night’s young.”   Ha ha ha, the Tears of a Clown.

  • Then, someone noticed, not me, that one of the ladies standing in my group HAD ON EXACTLY THE SAME BLOUSE I DID!  The same pink,  jeweled halter top.

I swear, that has never happened to me before.    We laughed it off.  She said she’d picked hers up in the islands, Martinque, I think, while on vacation.

Where did you get yours?”  she asked.

And me, being painfully truthful, admitted, “At a consignment shop.”

At a consignment shop.

Let’s review, shall we?  She got hers while on an exotic island vacation.  I got mine at a thrift shop.

There are two things wrong with this:

One:  I admitted I was wearing a used shirt.

Two:  I thought the beauty of buying at a consignment shop was that you were less likely to get something that someone else has!  I mean, seriously?   It was the only top like that in the store, of course.  Indeed it was the only top like that I’ve ever seen.   Oh snap, I guess it’s because I don’t vacation in the islands, or vacation at all.  Crap.

Wait, there’s a third thing wrong with this — WE WERE WEARING THE SAME SHIRT!

Eventually I made my way away from this group and my shirt twin to some familiar faces.  As Cheryl promised there were a couple of couples I knew because they had kids the same age of mine and who are in the same activities.    One was the same couple who, at the graduation party, had walked away from me.  But this time they  were very talkative and friendly.   The husband reminds me (and my kids) of McDreamy on Grey’s Anatomy.

McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy

McDreamy from Grey’s Anatomy

And we did the suburban parent thing and talked about our kids, college applications, etc.    The other couple introduced themselves to me as if we’d just met, which was weird, since I’ve been running into and exchanging pleasantries with this couple since our senior kids were in the fourth grade.

  • In discussing their children’s college application process, the couples shared that their children blamed them for having not gone through any hardship about which they could write about on their essays,  “Oh yes, she’s mad because we’re successful and not divorced and she has had what she needs.  Can you believe that?  Yes, we’re sorry we’ve given you a good life.”    I couldn’t even summon up the Tears of a Clown to respond to this particular topic, as I stood between the two couples.   Though I did discover that one of the women had not gotten into the college I went to.  Score one for me.  Empty victory, because she was being nice, damn it.
  • Cheryl had hired a professional photographer  and also took pictures herself.   The couples were asked to pose together.   I was asked to pose by myself.   Regina was also asked to pose by herself.   Yup.
Carrie, being photographed without  a "Plus One" in Sex In The City

Carrie, being photographed without a “Plus One” in Sex In The City

When the party moved to the assigned poolside tables,   I sat between the McDreamys and the only other single person at the event, Regina.   I discovered that Regina was divorced with children and in the midst of downsizing so we talked about the whole downsizing, moving, process, etc.   and I chatted with her and the other couples about our kids, etc.     I think the people (and by people, I mean couples) on the other side of the table may have been interesting, but the centerpiece was too big to talk over.   They must have been listening to our conversation, however,  because in the buffet line a woman asked if I was a professional organizer because I seem to know so much about it.    Ha!

No, I’m not a pro.   But yeah, I do.  I know a lot about it.  I know a hell of a lot about moving and downsizing . . .  but I digress . . .  

My hero, Matt Paxton from Hoarders

My hero, Matt Paxton from Hoarders

And that was that, except that at some point someone said,  I think it was Regina, “I heard someone else here has on the same top, is that true?”  And I, of course, helpfully, pointed her out.  My shirt twin was at the next table, as it turns out.  I added  that, “Well, I had wondered if I’d be dressed appropriately.  Clearly,” gesturing to my shirt twin, “I am.”   Ha ha ha, Tears of a Clown.

The party wound down,  I left when everyone else did.   It was nice, fine, a lovely affair.  It was the kind of party I used to like to look at from a distance, “Oh look, rich people are having a party!”  And then I’d drive or walk by to try to catch a glimpse.   It was good to be more than a fly on the wall, or a nosy neighbor, or a creepy stalker.

But, as to the whole “Come Alone!”  thing — no, Cheryl did not have an ulterior motive and play matchmaker for me, unless, of course, you count Regina.      And yes, I was fine without a date.    As far as I could tell, and based on Cheryl’s comments, all the other couples were married.   It was not a casual date kind of party.    It still would have been okay to have brought a date, but it was okay without.

This does not mean, however, that I will forever go to these things alone.   Nope.

Just Me With . . . a shirt twin, a lady dinner date, and a new career as a professional organizer. 

P.S.  Cheryl actually did a great thing by having assigned tables, especially when there are only a couple of singles and  some guests who don’t know many other people.  I didn’t have to walk up to a table of couples and ask if I could join them or wait by myself for coupled up strangers to sit with me.  And at least I wasn’t seated with my shirt twin.

From "You Again"

Sigourney Weaver and Jamie Lee Curtis from “You Again”