I have written about this guy three times before.
Three. Times.
1. The Landscaper Guy — Not Digging Him — I meet a man.
2. The Landscaper Guy and the Female Chandler Bing — I give him a shot. (I shouldn’t have.)
3. The Landscaper Guy and A Phone Smarter Than Me — I shoot him down, and miss. I have to take better aim and shoot again.
Well, I ran into him today. Again. Seems he has a vehicle now, a vehicle that needed gas, as did mine.
At 7:45am.
He was, again, wearing white but topped it with a blue jacket. No head scarf this time.
I said a passing hello like I would to a stranger, a stranger who looked somewhat familiar. He said “Hi” back with a look that said, You don’t have anything else to say?
I smiled at him, being polite, but not starting any kind of conversation. It was, after all, 7:45am.
He followed up with a “Hellooo” drawing the word out, raising his eyebrows at me. It was that kind of ‘Hello’ that wasn’t a greeting but rather a complaint of some sort. It said, You got nothing else to say to me?
I gave the ‘I’m just being polite‘ smile and thought, “Shoot, I’m supposed to know this guy. I have no idea who he is.”
He said, reading my mind– or my face, “You don’t remember me, do you?”
“I’m sorry, no, I don’t. Are you a neighbor?”
“Yeah,” he humphed (Is that a word? Because that’s what he did. He humphed.). Then he said, “Yeah, a few houses down. You live on Maple Street, right?”
“Yes.” I was starting to remember, but not his name. “Um . . . Oh yes, we talked a couple of times.”
“What’s wrong with dinner? You didn’t want to go to dinner?”
“Um . . . ”
“You still feel that way?”
“Yes.” What the hell?
“Why?” WHY DOES THIS GUY ASK WHY? WHY WHY WHY????
“I’m just not going out much lately.” This was the response that had failed me previously. It was all I had at 7:45am.
“But dinner? What’s wrong with that?” And he let out a humph again, “Just you and your dog . . .” (I ask you — Why’d he have to bring my dog into this? Oh, my dog was in the car, looking at him, probably judging him, I hope. Woman’s best friend and all . . . )
“I mean, you’re single, right? ”
“Yes.” I refused to lie, and he refused to STFU. As discussed in Where Did I Put My Fake Boyfriend there are some aggressive men who only accept the reported presence of another guy as an acceptable reason to decline a date.
“Well, I don’t get it. What’s wrong with dinner? I’m not talking about a relationship or anything. Dinner,” and he wasn’t done.
He added, incredibly, “I mean a woman like you shouldn’t be alone — for years — like this.”
WTF? I cannot believe he said that to me.
“I’ll be alright,” I replied and offered a purposely fake smile, one that I hope really conveyed, ‘You, sir, are an asshole.‘
He laughed. “Well.”
“Well. You have a nice day, now,” I said. This is the way Northern US women say the Southern US women’s ‘Bless your heart‘ which really means, ‘I’m done talking to you. Kiss my ass.’
“Alright,” he replied, shaking his head, which probably meant, ‘Bitch’ and truthfully, I don’t give a shit.
Just Me With . . . a full tank of gas, next to an ass.
For other run-ins with the men in my neighborhood, see:
Just Me With . . . 
Ugh, what an annoying annoying person. “What’s wrong with dinner?” Really? Part of me wishes you said, “Nothing is wrong with dinner, I just don’t want to have dinner with you. I thought that was obvious.” How can he not understand that your mere singleness does not automatically translate into a date for him? As if he were entitled to date any and every woman who happens to be single and live on his street. I mean, what is the thought process here.
You were far kinder than I ever could have been.
I need to get better with my snappy comebacks. Though I hope I don’t get another chance with him. You said it so well, him acting entitled to a date because I’m single and nearby. Ugh. It’s a little creepy, though. How does he know I’m single. I think I’ve seen him around from a distance. Does he look at my house and only see one car? Not see a guy? It is that obvious that I’m a single woman? A little creepy. “Your’e single, right?” I didn’t want to lie, but how does he know? Paranoid now. Being single does not make some random dude entitled — but it’s a little creepy to think that someone thinks like that. I do not like my neighborhood, not at all.
I re-read your previous posts about this dude and literally laughed out loud. I also think it’s funny you didn’t recognize him this time around. His comments about you still being single..well, apparently he has been too, right? He has no sense of irony apparently.
I suppose this fellow still ambles about the neighborhood enough to notice there haven’t been any obvious ‘man in residence’ changes at your place and assumed your singleness from that. Did you ever put in privacy plantings?
I did put in privacy plantings, but they died. I also put in a shed that blocks the view somewhat. Yeah, I guess he assumes there’s no “man in residence” — only my car, he probably sees me alone a lot. Whatever. You make a good point. I’ve never seen him with a woman either . . . so . . .
He was probably so pissed that I didn’t recognize him, but I just didn’t. Oh well — heh heh heh. Thanks for reading and commenting.
He’s really coming off like the fact you have no boyfriend means he gets to have sex with you. I applaud your gracious dignity.
[…] The Landscaper Guy, Freaking Part IV — I shoot him down, again. He expresses concern about my single […]
I stumbled onto your blog yesterday when I was searching to see if anyone out there agreed that double sinks in the master bath are STUPID, and I have been reading and reading ever since! LOVE YOUR STORIES and how you tell them!!
(I hate it when people on house hunters don’t want a house because it doesn’t have two sinks in the master. Like, how freaking hard is it to ADD ONE if that’s what you really want?? Of course, there are people who don’t want a house because they don’t like the colors the bedrooms are painted, like they’ve never heard of buying a gallon of paint….)
[…] The Landscaper Guy Freaking Part IV […]