The Landscaper Guy, Again, Part V

Groundhog Day 1

“What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?” Phil, Ground Hog Day

Deja vu. I have written about this guy  four times before.  Four times. And I admit that to begin this post I copied and pasted part of my last writings about him, because he just keeps coming back and it’s all the same damn thing, over and over again . . .

I ran into him again.  But wait, please peruse the following to you can get the full picture. This has been going on for . . . years!   YEARS!

1.  The Landscaper  Guy — Not Digging Him  — I meet a man.

2.  The Landscaper Guy and the Female Chandler Bing — I give him a shot.  (I shouldn’t have.)

3.  The Landscaper Guy and A Phone Smarter Than Me — I shoot him down, and miss. I have to take better aim and shoot again.

4.  The Landscaper Guy, Freaking Part IV — I shoot him down, again.  He expresses concern about my single status.

Are we all caught up? If not, that’s okay because it’s always the same.

Fast forward to now.  It was very hot, and you know how they say to check in on older people in hot weather?  Well I had to get my Mom out of her sweltering house, so we went for ice cream  at an outdoor place.  As  I was looking at flavors, a man looked at me.

I smiled, because that’s what I do.

He said, “You look familiar.”

Groundhog Day 1

“What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?” Phil, Ground Hog Day

I replied, “Well, I’m from here, so you know . . .”  It’s a smallish suburban town. You can’t swing a dick with running into someone you know.  (I’m paraphrasing from Sex and the City because Anthony the Wedding Planner cracked me up with that line. I like funny.  Note to men:  Many women enjoy humor.)

Groundhog Day 1

“What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?” Phil, Ground Hog Day

 

And here’s where I can just cut and paste, because it’s all so familiar.

“You live on Maple Street, right?” He asked.

“Yes.” Oh geez. It was coming back to me, like a bad debt.

I should have known, the white t-shirt. He had on a white t-shirt . . . 

I walked away.  I was only there to check the flavors for my mom and report back to her. She was waiting in the car.  So that’s what I did.  I just walked away.

I hoped, I so hoped that he would be gone when I returned.

My hopes were dashed on the jagged rocks below.

Groundhog Day 1

“What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?” Phil, Ground Hog Day

Oh he had gotten his ice cream and was getting into his car —  but his car  was parked right next the the place. Just my luck.

“Still don’t want to go out with a brother?”  He asked me.

Incredibly, he had asked me out again. As I mentioned before, this has been going on for years.  Check the dates of my posts. Years.

And still the answer was, is, and will always be, “No.”

Groundhog Day 1

“What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?” Phil, Ground Hog Day

 

Though I clearly said “no” the man continued, just like he had many times before. As he sat in the driver’s seat he motioned to the empty space next to him, “I mean — ice cream.  You can sit right here. What’s wrong with getting some ice cream with me?  It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

(Except that it would mean that I wanted to get ice cream with him, which I did not.)

And again, I tell you, I tell him, “No.”  But like a call and response, I added, without conscious effort to do so, “But thanks anyway.”

(Why am I so polite?  Oh well. At least I didn’t attempt to give a reason this time.)

He shook his head as if to say, “What is wrong with this woman ( or bitch)?”  He seemed genuinely baffled that I declined to take him up on his offer.

I walked away, again, thinking, “Well, I guess I have another blog post to write.

Groundhog Day 1

“What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?” Phil, Ground Hog Day

I was seconds from a clean get-away,  but the Landscaper Guy in the white T-shirt called after me,

“You’re still beautiful, though.”

Well shit.  I can’t argue with the brother.

The-Dark-Knight-The-Joker walking away

The Joker, in The Dark Knight

 

Just Me With . . . ice cream for two — Me and my Mom.

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6 responses

  1. You are so funny! How can you resist him? I have had a couple of guys like that over the years that just never give up. Of course, I have been single three times as long as you. Like you, I smile and people before I realize I don’t want to smile. And, I will thank them, too, for harassing me once again. Is the t-shirt spotless or grimy?

  2. If you end up married to him someday, you will surely have one hilarious story to tell!!

  3. And that is why I seem unable to part with my eighty extra pounds or man repellent in spite of the very probable risk of getting diabetes or having a heart attack.

  4. That’s hilarious and awful. You can’t go anywhere!!

  5. Ah, Ground hog day yet again. Very funny.

    Glad I popped in and found a new post from you. 🙂

  6. The worst part of guys like that is when you KNOW he doesn’t even remember YOU especially. Like, he comes on to EVERY woman and you still feel the need to politely disengage. Sigh.

    I remember finding your blog because of the open kitchen thing years ago – something I share your strong feelings on.

    I check on your blog every month or so, because your voice is so similar to the one which echoes in my head.

    I hope you and yours are well.

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