The Snowman

Waiting for Spring, still.   It was a rough Winter, as far as precipitation,  emotionally, vehicularly (I love making up words sometimes),   it was overall kind of blue.   In my part of the world we got a lot of snow this year.  Snow means different things to me now that I’m in a much smaller house with no driveway. Not so bad.  There’s so much less snow removal, but it is all my responsibility.   I can’t always count on my beautiful ( lousy, good-for-nothing children) to help me when it actually needs to be done.

One fine, sunny, cold and clear day after a snow storm, I was out shoveling my front walk.  By myself.    A truck drove by and with some equipment in the back and slowed down.   Then it kept going.   I thought, well, this is gonna be some guy asking to do my snow removal for pay.   So  I wasn’t really surprised when he circled the block, came back and pulled up in front of my house.  But I’m not going to pay someone to do my little front walk, though this snow was really heavy.   I just got ready to tell him, no, thanks, I got this.   But you know?  He was pretty cute.   Nice eyes.   Nice smile.  Had a hat on, which can mask a lot, plus, he was sitting in a truck with a big jacket on so height and weight were not clearly apparent, but still . . .  As it turned out  he didn’t ask me to hire him to shovel my snow.  He had pulled over . . . (on a busy street, mind you) . . . just to talk.  huh.

I’ve found that  nothing screams SINGLE for a woman more than doing exterior work on your house (not  gardening).   Exterior painting?  Clearly this woman has no man.  And now . . . shoveling snow?  This chick must be single.   Still,  I was not prepared to be hit on outside my house on a snowy day with a shovel in my hand.   Actually I was not prepared to be outside in the snow — NO TISSUES.   My nose was running like Kobe Bryant at a Gay Pride Parade (tee hee).  But lone pioneer woman that  I am, my sleeve and gloves were good enough for the task at hand.  That is,  until this good-looking guy was trying to talk to me.   And I was a  — sans makeup, nose running, ugly knit hat and hand-me-down snow pants wearing — hot mess.

He managed to find out from me that I am indeed single, own the home, not a drug user, not a church go-er and my true age (not something I generally share, not even with myself some days).  The man has interrogation skills.  Or, standing there in the cold, trying to control my snot  as traffic was whizzing by, I just didn’t feel like being coy.   I found out his age (men always tell you that and of course he’s younger than me), where he works and where he goes to church.   I got a little sermon about having faith and that will see me through.    Then he tried to get my number.    This man kinda liked me.  As he  already knew where I lived, I didn’t feel like giving out any additional information (aren’t you supposed to get his number anyway?).   So I got his number and name (which this time was not the same name as my Ex — it was a sexy, French name).   He made me promise that I would think about calling.  “We could have coffee or something,”  he suggested.   And he invited me to church.

I did think about  calling him.  I still do.    I figure, I can only get better in his eyes — I wonder how much more smitten he’d be if he saw me without snot, breathing through my nose instead of mouth, and maybe with a little lipstick on and dressed up in maybe — say –Uggs —  instead of snowboots.   But I didn’t call, still freaked out about being single.  (Translation:  chicken-sh**)   But I have the number, right here  in my phone.

Just Me With . . . the digits of a snow  man whose name is not the same as my Ex.   Maybe if he had shoveled that heavy snow for me . . .  More importantly, maybe this Spring . . .  as I resume my exterior painting . . . I’ll be ready . . . for  . . . anything.

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4 responses

  1. I came by this sort of randomly. I know this was just a blog anecdote, but it had sort of the rhythm of a short story, and was a satisfying little read from that perspective. But to the extent it is, after all, a real blogable anecdote, good look hooking a good one once that spring painting starts.

  2. great story! give him a call. once the weather breaks make him cut the grass. he owes you after not offering to shovel the snow! 🙂

  3. […] A man walked by, probably on his way to a nearby bus stop  or train.   Asked me if I needed help with my landscaping, said he really only does it as a side job, he’s in school right now.   No, I say, I usually do it myself. (I was doing it myself, thank you very much.)  He said he wouldn’t charge much, that he could plant and mulch for me.  Again I say — I do it myself.  Of course, I told him if I need him I’ll let him know.  (I gotta stop doing that).   He asked me if I lived alone, asked me if I was married, if I had a boyfriend, if I was looking.  He offered, and I allowed him to, carry my bags of top soil from my car into my yard.   Again, a woman doing exterior work, SCREAMS single to men.  See The Snowman […]

  4. […] See Not Digging the Landscaper Guy – Part I, Landscaper Guy and the Female Chandler Bing, Part II, The Landscaper  Guy and The Phone Smarter Than Me – Part III and The Snowman. […]

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