I had a birthday recently. I’ve always disliked birthdays, since my teen years. My parents always made my birthday special as a child, not with lavish parties and gifts, but with special birthday dinners, cake and small gifts, except for the year I got a new piano. That was the best day ever, but I digress . . .
The bad birthdays started in my teen years when came down with Scarlet Fever on my birthday. I know it sounds very Victorian, but I assure you I’m not that old.
In later years my boyfriend (later husband, now ex-husband) forgot my birthday completely, more than once. I’ve never had the party with the girlfriends kind of birthdays either, for a lot a reasons, beyond the scope of this post. And then there was the first birthday right after the wedding, the separation and some bad ones since then.
This year I decided to pretty much ignore my birthday. I couldn’t really do anything because it coincided with one of my kid’s big events . . . so I just let it go.
But the people who have come in and out of my life over the years, many of whom I have written about here, remembered.
1. My best friend and her husband stopped by with a musical card (hours of fun), a little cake, and a big gift card for me. They didn’t stay very long, but I appreciated the thought and the gifts more than they know.
See my tribute to her on “To My Best Friend on Mother’s Day”
2. One of my married male friends sent me a text, hoping he got the date right. (He didn’t, but that didn’t matter.) He wished me well and told me I don’t look my age. This guy has done things for me like shown up with an air conditioner and installed it when my house was making us melt and he repaired a pane of glass after my daughter decided to play ball in the family room. And most importantly, he checks in on me just to see how I’m doing.
He’s one of the men I was thinking of in “Friends Without Benefits — Married Men.”
3. My Admirer sent me a Happy Birthday text, and when I thanked him for remembering he replied, “You are a smart and beautiful woman whose inner beauty radiates so brightly. I won’t forget you.”
It made me smile. I haven’t seen or talked to this man in years.
For my posts about him see, “I Have An Admirer” and “Another Text From My Admirer.”
4. An old friend, who defies any type of categorization, wished me Happy Birthday via voice mail; I was at my kid’s event and couldn’t answer my phone. I saved the message.
I’ve referenced him in, “We Thought You Were Dead, Mommy.”
5. I even got a birthday text from my Stalker. I did not respond.
See, “If I’d Married My Stalker.”
It feels good to be remembered, thought of.
Well, the Stalker text is a little disconcerting, but still . . .
Just Me With . . . people.
And even though I’m all grown up, my parents called and sang to me (a family tradition) and my Mom gave me a card with money in it.
. . . and the quirky child gave me a card and a CD.
A birthday text from your stalker? Awww that’s really cute. I have never had a stalker before. How does one go about obtaining one>?
How to get a stalker? Well, for me, it began with hanging out with a person who seemed to have so much in common with me and ignoring all of the crazy red flags that were flapping in my face. Then try to end said “relationship”. The rest just happens.
I would stalk you, but your too far away to do it properly lol.
Well aren’t you a lucky gal 🙂 move was completely forgotten by husband and child is too little to realize, he did “remember” after dinner when my parents called to send their wishes and give me a heads up that a gift box was headed my way.
That stinks, but I understand. I didn’t mention my other kids, the oldest said “Happy Birthday” only after he heard me say sarcastically to myself “Well Happy Birthday to me” when the angry child was giving me a hard time about having to go and visit their dad. Birthdays are not my favorite and usually bring the tears, but I was trying to focus on the positive for this post. The tears came the next day.
Yeah, I had the whole #birthdaydenial going for a few weeks on either side of the actual date 🙂 haha….laughter(sometimes at yourself) is really the best medicine.
Yes, denial and laughter, a nice combination.
I think my birthday has been forgotten by almost everyone that has meant anything to me and by those who professed to love me deeply. My ex did not forget very often, but managed to bring me to tears and abject depression on my birthday.
Example: On my birthday he brought in a paper bag with a cake mix and frosting mix. He did this in front of my 3- and 5-yr-old, so I could not explode when they were overjoyed. When I expressed my displeasure, he said, “But, you like to cook!”
The next year, he brought me a paper bag with apple cider vinegar, kelp, and lecithin. It was a popular weight-loss remedy in the 70s. THEN, the children realized it was my birthday, so I had to bake my own cake from scratch to make them happy.
I could go on, but I won’t.
This is a word that I rarely use, because it is not really descriptive, a bit sexist, and overused, but when I read your comment I thought, “What a DOUCHE!” I’m so sorry he (and others “close” to you) brought you down on your birthdays. Yes, I’ve had those years when I ended up in “tears and abject depression on my birthday.” Well put, and I totally understand. At least now I don’t expect (or fear) how the Ex will acknowledge me on my birthday. It’s not his job anymore and I’m happy about that. Winter, specifically the time period between New Years Day and my birthday, contains a lot of triggers of bad memories. I look forward to Spring.
The paper bag contents were rather unsubtle I have to say.
Happy Birthday sweet sixteen 🙂
Why thank you. I guess that’s what everybody means when they say I can use this opportunity to start over any way I want. I’m starting over at sweet (and single) sixteen.
God, Imagine being sixteen again with what we know now!!!
That’s a cliched statement from me. What do we know now? I’ll start the list
1. Blondes are more fun
2. Go for the smart ones.
3. Brain size is not proportional to breast size.
hahahahaha — true!
Perhaps I haven’t learned as much as I’d like to think— because this is difficult.
4. Don’t get ones, first love pregnant ( American version High school sweetheart)
5. Getting fired from a job is not the end of the world.
Sex isn’t important anymore. 🙂